So, we’re in a severe weather warning thing whatever, and it’s cold and snowing really hard.

But I had to go get lunch.

So I walked there and almost FROZE ME FECKING FEET AND LEGS OFF. I’m like SHIN-DEEP in snow, and getting BETCH-SLAPPED IN THE FACE by the wind and snow, but I made it, finally. I ate my lunch and had to come back to my room (which I’m not leaving until I have to go to work Monday night).

I FELL DOWN YOU GUISE. FELL DOWN IN THE 6-9 inches of snow. Cue fetal position and snorting and heavy breathing. It sounded like sex, but colder and (presumably) without any of the positive events and side-effects.

I crawled, YES CRAWLED, for a few feet before struggling to my feet and walking as fast as possible back to my room.

IT WAS AWFUL. I DON’T LIKE NORTH DAKOTA.

SOMEONE SAVE ME.

Hehlp.